BFF

it hurts me
to think that im not doing my part in the friendship
to think that it is so hard to see them
to think that im not trying my best to go and see them

it really hurts me
when im not able to see them on regular basis
when im not able to console them with hugs and kisses
when im not able to
giggling
laughing
yelling
with them

im still hurt by the fact that I AM thinking about our friendship that begins to falls apart
am i wrong?

am i despicable for thinking that way? for having those feelings?

seriously
im hurt
badly saddened by the unfortunate tragedy

im hoping for the time to come back and fetch me so that i can go back to the old time
but surely there are no such thing

i need someone to talk to
i have problems ladies
i have issues that need you to help me with



i just need u

revamp

im still improving my English especially my writing skills
speaking skills will not be a major problem since im practicing it here in KT
minor problem would be in grammar since im also learning

being an English teacher is not easy
people expect more on you
people judge you differently
people sometimes misjudge you

i need to:
rejuvenate
recharge
rethink

i need to do some revamp

but first
i need ideas

see ya

gokusen

tibe2 terase cam nak jd yankumi dlm cite gokusen...blh????

2010

a lot of things happened recently..the bad ones and the good ones. being a new teacher is not an easy task..people expect the best from u and people expect u to learn by yourselves.i know that i should do that but in the end i still in need of my seniors to teach me something that i cannot learn by myself.sometimes i just dunno the right questions to be asked...not that i dun wan to ask. u get what i mean? people tell me and my rummie, mastura: "u guys ni cikgu baru tp sume bnda yg tak tau tu tak nak tny pastu nak ckp tak tau"...*panas tak telinga dengar??*

its not that we dun wan to ask, but sometimes we need our own time to resort things out...we need time to adapt and consume whatever knowledge that we need to find out. and sumtimes we just dunno what is the correct Q to ask.*dah klu nak tny buat mke taik camne nak tny kan??*

i had my emotion breakdown...a bad one. i cannot concentrate on my work, my kids and also to my encik yg dicintai...its hard to satisfy and impress other people aite?? tq to my frens and encik yg dicintai bcoz being so patient with me...im lucky to have all of them!

this year (since i report duty on Sept 2009), i had a lot of things to do since im a new teacher.haha...sgt penat n exhausted! had a lot of meetings and there'll be more to come. im just praying that i had the energy and the heart *ahaks!* to do...haha

ok la...enough with all of ramblings...need to catch up with my works.
daa!

my frustation

kdg2 kck ati ble kwn2 lme yg kte try contact sbnrnye tak nak contact lg ngan kte...

sedih kan??

saye msh sygkan mrk tp mcm takde reaction from them...

nak nanges

sedih sgt

:(

chenta ati...

this post is dedicated to my gurls...

presenting

encik yg dicintai...

i met him back in MRSM KT.thanks Allah...He has indeed showed me the true meaning of having commitment n love. i'm saying this coz he (azham) has been teaching me the way of life that i've been ignoring all this while. thanks Allah he makes me stumbled upon him when i'm having difficulties making choice whether to go on with my pathetic life or let it go. people keep on advising me that my previous choice was a bad one but i never listened. i heard it a lot...even from my best friends n family but i just let it loose...thinking that i'm not fit to break his heart, but ultimately, Allah wanted me to be a better person with a better life. and for that reason he made me a man that will take care of that and has given him all the responsibility to take care of me. may Allah bless our love n shower us with all of His greatness. i need this relationship to happen n i will work hard for it. Insya Allah

i'm still in the process of knowing him better n vice versa.

really hope that this time around, i will able to become someone's great wife

:)

kene block...

this is what happened when its been so long since my last entry...otak kene blok gile2 pnye!! the symptoms...well, very obvious...dunno wht to talk about n just plainly dunno where to start.*sigh*...

there are so many things that i wanted to tell you (to whoever that are reading my posts...TQ). but the main problem is that i just dunno where to start. ok...here it goes....

1. started working in mrsm kuala terengganu (mrsm kt) on 8th september 2009. its a great experience since i've been in KUMON for 2 years. despite that, im looking forward for the new experience n journey that awaits me. met new people n i liked them...:)

2. broke up with edy on 17th october 2009 for various reasons which for me n edy to keep. but the memories that we had together will always be in my heart...but not for long (i hope).

3. met my 'other-half'. people might see me as 'a girl that cannot live all by herself that she needs men all around her'. *yeah...hell right!!*. but i met someone with a better career n better prospect in life...should i let him go??? nope! that'll be my final answer...

4. its not simply love on a first sight kay...just that we've been friends for these past 3 months n i felt comfortable n happy. maybe people might misjudge me or misinterpret me but i must take care of myself...there's no other people will help me to change unless myself, aite??

5. basically...everything has changed. i realized my mistakes...i did a lot of mistakes. 1st, by gradually revealing my aurat (i've been not wearing my scarf for 5months while working in KUMON). 2nd, by neglecting my obligation as a Muslim. this is true story dear...n im not ashamed of telling u the truth bcoz i think i might be able to teach or at least give some insight of what will happen if u did all of this SILLY things. i had my punishment...n i dun think i'll be able to live with another punishment.

6. Allah has indeed shower me with his love n compassion as He gave another opportunity. when im here in mrsm kt, my heart sank as i saw a lot of children who are able to live by their own accord. thank you ya Allah...i promised to live my beautiful life with all the possibilities that has been written for me.

i think that's all for now...just to let u know that i'm extremely happy with my new birth of life. thank you for all the supports that u have been giving me all this while...my dear friends n family..muahh!! i'm indeed in love with all of u guys...